It can be one of the unpleasant tasks of parenthood but also one of the most necessary. With so much false and lewd information in the media, magazines and at school, it is vital that you prepare your teen daughter by discussing the topic of sex.
As many of us have learned the hard way, what we see on television and in the movies is not what sex is really all about. Schools can teach kids about the apparatus and the mechanics of the act, but that is not all there is. We don’t want our kids to receive an idealized impression of sex or that it is “no big deal” only to be disappointed in the end. The best way to counter what is seen and heard by them in everyday life is to start the discussion at home.
The consequences of misinformation and miseducation in the area of sex are apparent everywhere – teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, multiple partners, date rape and casual attitudes towards sexual encounters. Equip your children with the tools they need to make wise and mature decisions about their sexuality before they come face to face with a harsh reality.
Approaching the Subject
Unlike “The Talk” that we all received when we were adolescents, experts today suggest that sexual topics become an ongoing dialogue between parent and child. There is not one right time to talk about the subject and then ignore it forevermore. Instead, a healthy relationship between parent and child, or in this instance, mother and daughter, will make the topic easier to discuss at any time.
You were a young girl once. How did you feel about discussing sex with your parents? Your daughter probably feels the same way – embarrassed. To keep the conversation going in a positive direction, learn creative ways to broach the issue without forcing it. Here are some suggestions.
Go for a drive – You have a captive audience but neither of you have to look at the other. It’s a perfect situation. Listen to what your daughter has to say and ask her questions as well as answer any that she has.
Watch a movie together – Learn about her world. Watch something that she is interested in and then discuss any romantic situations in the show, getting her impressions.
Tell the truth – Kids can spot when you are lying. Provide as much information as you feel necessary to answer the question. Let them know if some topics need to be put aside for another time.
Talk before bed – She is tired and more likely to divulge what is on her mind.
Let her talk first – When your daughter comes to you with a question, make the time to sit down and discuss her questions about sex and her sexuality. It probably took a lot of courage for her to come to you.
Spend time together – Have a girl’s day out. In a more relaxing situation, she might be more willing to talk.
It is important that daughters know not just about sex but their own sexuality.